7: Desire and Disgust

I love food. I would give anything to be the type of person who, when presented with a tray of chargrilled fish eyes thinks, "ooh, great, thanks." But I'm not.I'm becoming fascinated with the idea of disgust -- how it's a visceral feeling within you. You don't just have a distaste. Your body physically recoils, tears fill your eyes, your skin prickles, your throat closes up. That's true disgust. It's an amazing reaction. It used to save our lives.I usually crave salty, fermented, aged, almost-but-not-quite rotten flavours. I love cheeses, cured meats, breads, beers, wines and ciders. I love spice and heat and bitterness. I told myself for so long that I was fussy; a picky eater. As I build up the tasting thesaurus inside my brain, I realise I was just putting cold hard facts before flavour. I was scared of reality, and the grimness of cooked things, rather than my desire for their tastes, and the journeys they would take me on.So I ate a softshell crab this week. I liked it, but wanted more salt and a lot more heat. I'd tasted it, rather than thought about its body, soft and helpless in its molted state. It doesn't sound like it, but that's progress.Other stuff:

• I think this beautiful, mournful, soaring, heartbreaking essay by CJ Hauser called The Crane Wife has changed how I will write forever.

• I found out about Bangkok's current fixation with private fine dining experiences while I was reading this relaxed interview with Cristina Bowerman, who has some unique ideas of the "sense of place" everyone's obsessed with at the mo. Funnily enough, her ideas were a total juxtaposition of what the very polished NYT article about Thai private dining expressed. She said: "I don’t want guests to be able to pinpoint where something is from; it must be an organic whole." I like that.

• The enthusiasm and excitement Lilian Min has for mangosteens and her wonder at Etsy becoming a marketplace for rare tropical fruits is infectious. The last line was my fave.

• Jonathan Liew is so good, so engaging, that he makes me care about sports. This time: tennis.

• I really liked this piece on natural wine bars and tinned fish from the SFC. It made me hungry and thirsty.

• Take a sec to enjoy these stunning, dremay, angsty photos of teenage Appalachian Ohio by high school students.

I've just realised that pretty much all of the above are from American publications. I blame my sudden obsession with east coast immigrant-American cooking and food culture thanks to the film Always Be My Maybe and a fifth rewatch of Ugly Delicious.My stuff:

• If you didn't see it already, I wrote about one of my favourite subjects for Ferment mag -- how do you know the historically-brewed beer you're drinking actually tastes like it would have done back then?

• I'm working on a few articles at the moment, but nothing's been posted up in a while. Check back next week for more updates, I guess.

• I went to a photography class last week run by Matt Curtis (shoutout) and I really enjoyed learning about how looking at photos that inspire us can help us become better photographers. I love the idea that beauty can install itself in you, ready for you to use it at a later date.

ORIGINAL ILLUSTRATION © DANIEL GRAY-BARNETTI looked through The Crane Wife for a perfect illustration, and it turns out,this is the only one. I imagined the rest. That's how good it is.