Planning a writing retreat

I’ve wanted to go on a writing retreat for years. The idea of luxurious time, spent somewhere other than my house, used to write, read and think. It makes me glow just thinking about it.

Then I saw how much they cost. And what they really entail. To make sure you feel like you’re getting your money’s worth, there are lots of activities organised for you, and workshops to attend. Sounds like university. There are group sessions to join in with. Sounds like my worst nightmare. There are friendly breakfasts and tea times where discussing your WIP with other retreaters is encouraged. Sounds like hell.

I’m not an unfriendly person. I smile and laugh and conduct myself politely. It’s only that after a lot of consideration I really don’t want to stay in a countryside cottage with a shared bathroom so that I can talk to strangers and drink tea in a communal dining room. So what do I want? When did I become such a curmudgeon?

First of all, the price of these sorts of writing getaways is incredibly prohibitive. Even if I did put it on the fuck-it credit card, I felt like there was something wrong about doing so — very few people can do this. I don’t want my writing to come from somewhere elitist, even if that only means being served cake every afternoon and not having to cook my meals for five days. Would my writing really benefit from a situation like this, I wondered? What difference would it make?

Behind every Renaissance Man is a woman doing the domestic labour. I realise paying for a retreat would be like having a wife for a week. In that respect, perhaps the cost is far lower than it should be. I really can’t foot that bill, however, so I decided to create my own retreat, one that I would actually enjoy.

My friends have let me use their house on the Isle of Man while they aren’t in it for the week. For six days, I’ll have a sea view and somewhere to work solely on my intended project, with all my favourite food and drink readily to hand because I’ll be catering for myself. I’ve planned walks in the hills and along the coast, and I’ve already decided what I’m ordering from the chippy on my first night. I’ll read my research notes and books in the pub, or in bed, and I’ll have a bunch of flowers on the table where I’m working. Perhaps most importantly, I will be the only person there. My telephone voice won’t come out, I won’t feel embarrassed about my progress or lack thereof. I won’t have to listen to people talk about their work when I’m trying hard to remember a good idea I had. No offence — I’m just here to work, you know?

Build your own retreat

• Pick a place that’s cheap to get to but has nice views and walks

• Choose accommodation with good WiFi or you’re screwing yourself before you get there

• Make sure you don’t have to drive yourself anywhere — thinking and reading on the bus is underrated working time

• Save up enough money to do one “fancy” food shop when you get there so your accom is well-stocked with all your favourite biscuits and pop and snackies

• Tidy up for 10 mins every morning before you work to avoid procrastination

• Set a daily goal or word count and stick to it

• When you don’t hit your goal or word count, roll it over to the next day so you don’t completely give up and go on a bender

• If this still isn’t working, build other types of accountability in, like sending a trusted friend or editor your MS at the end of the day, or calling Tom every evening to explain what you did with your day (me only)

• Book a meal for yourself on your last night to treat yourself for all your hard work

• Go outside every day to get some fresh air and let new ideas blow into your ears

• IMO working in a café is useless and distracting. Use getting a decent brew as an excuse for a break.

A Place To Be zine event at Kerroo Brewing, Port Erin

This Saturday 8 March at 4pm I’ll be heading to Kerroo Brewing for their tap room’s 1st birthday party to do a reading and a Q+A session about making and writing my zine, A Place To Be.

There are two stories in the zine about places in the Isle of Man (or on the sea near it) and so I’m really looking forward to sharing these, and my love for the island, at such a special event.

If you’re on the island, or you can hop on the ferry, I hope you can make it!

Where to buy A Place To Be

You can still buy copies of my zine from the Pellicle shop, and there are now quite a lot of places you can pick one up too.

• Caps and Taps, London

• DEYA, Cheltenham

• Lost and Grounded, Bristol

• Rare Mags, Stockport

• Rivington Tap, Rivington

• Siren, Wokingham