I can’t think about anything other than my zine at the moment, so that’s what you’re getting this week. I had a vague plan to write a researched rant about Eurosport fucking me over personally this year, but as with most things at the moment, the rage has subsided into a vague sense of resignation. I’ll pay the extra and take it out of the food budget, and they know I will. Watching sport on TV is one of my last remaining guilt-free pleasures in life. I was indignant at first, but they have well and truly got me over a barrel bench. Girl’s gotta have her Paris-Roubaix.

What I actually care about right now is getting the print copies of my zine back from the printers so I can stop worrying they’ll get printed back to front and inside the spine like Mark Corrigan’s Business Secrets of the Pharaohs. I’m also really excited about doing some events for it, which have mushroomed out of nowhere from one or two scattered little readings to what is tantamount to a tour, in small zine terms. I’ll have more information about that soon, I just need to finalise some dates and give my head a wobble.

I’m excited about the zine coming out because it’s the first piece of published work I’ll have out there that’s all made by me. I wrote it, I designed it, it was all my idea. It’s also really weird, and I love that for me. I didn’t go into my first print project feeling like I should be professional and reserved. Why not write a bunch of strange little stories and staple them all together? Who’s going to stop me?

Nobody, it turns out. In fact, I was actively encouraged by Matthew Curtis, editor of Pellicle, who edited each piece and has been leading the publication details. Does the world need my odd thoughts? I was worried for some time that in this time of devastation, misrule and violence there was nothing more pointless than my stories about beer and wine — but I’ve decided I don’t care. So the world doesn’t need my thoughts on drinking alcohol? Tough titties, babe! You’re getting them anyway. Enjoy!

Do you know why I’ve decided not to care about my own irrelevance? It’s because doing this makes me feel good. My zine gave me something to motivate me through the whole of last year while I was writing it, and it’s giving me a reason to excitedly wake up at 5am and check my emails to see if any more orders have come in now. Does the world need my writing? No. But I do. And that’s why I’m doing it. So when I announce my events, please come so we can cavort and celebrate irrelevance together. I will tell you some stories and we can forget everything for a little while, with our drinks and our lives and our moments all bundled up in a moment of fun, for no reason other than we deserve it.

Other Stuff

• Iconic beer-themed skateboards. You’ll love the Pretty Things Jack D’Or one.

• A closer look at the role of limestone in vineyard soil. If you’re anything like me you just said “hubba hubba”

• Is the Chinese chippy Lancashire’s traditional cuisine? I dunno, but I could right go half chips, half fried rice, curry sauce and a pie

• Barrow FC is run by volunteers. I promise this story is worth the complete shitshow of pup-up adverts

•  A Torch in the Infinite. Pete Brown’s fantastic piece on Burton Bridge brewery, and the true legacy of British brewing heritage

• Nectar Card. A lot of pieces based in London don’t chime with me because I don’t know the place, but this one really choked me up

• A cover of Springsteen’s State Trooper (one of my all-time faves) by King Hannah

• An Oral History of Wong Kei. I’ve never been myself, but I love stories about unconventional restaurants that thrive over decades

• The Best Seat In The House. Why and how do we choose our seat in the pub? And what makes a prime pub position?

My Stuff

The zine I was talking about can be pre-ordered on the Pellicle website.