Winter Solstice, Bring My Sun Back

My glittering Christmas feelings get weaker every year, but rather than being sad, I’ve started to notice something else taking its place. I still hink about how much I miss strong sunshine, but I’ve also realised how many fleeting, delicate things there are to enjoy about Winter. The short days are barley enough to give me the UV rays I crave, but recently they’ve been crisp and clear, and I’ve loved being outside in them. The cold reminds me that I would rather be basking in the sun, but the feathery high-atmosphere clouds that come with frosty mornings touch me with a milder sort of joy.

The Winter Solstice is here, and it’s—for me, at least—a time to think about everything that’s happened over the past year. It’s not a time for making plans or striving for a goal. It’s a time for reflection—an important tool when it comes to setting new aspirations later. For me, this year has been one of deep, difficult inner work and plenty of career movement. I’ve learned so much about myself, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come.

Some of the most valuable life lessons I’ve learned have come to me this year. I’ve learned that if you try something and it doesn’t work, it’s not because you’ve failed. I’ve learned that the way I feel is often a choice I’ve made. And I’ve learned that I can run. I am in direct control of my surroundings. I can do the things I want to do, however seemingly out of character. I am not as restrained as I have always thought.

I’ve been trying out lüften, the German obsession with airing out rooms regularly no matter the weather. It feels incredibly wrong, to open a window while the heating is on. Rebellious. Wasteful. But as well as a well-ventilated home in times of bronchitis, It’s brought something else to me—hearing street noise from my desk grounds me, and reminds me I’m not holed up in my office alone. I can get totally lost in my work, which sounds ideal, but it can sometimes feel totally alienating and surreal. A breeze against my cheek tells me I am not trapped here. I am not being told to do this. I am just sat at a computer. I can leave whenever I want.

That realisation, that feeling of freedom. I wish I could carry it everywhere.

• Christian Löffler has uploaded a new mix. What a lovely Christmas present.

• Restaurant dining looks, feels and smells like a cult. Read Brianna Wallen’s piece about it.

• Pellicle’s top 10 most-read pieces of 2022 is an incredible list of well-written, stylish work that shows food and drink writing is alive, well and thriving. If you love reading stories like the ones featured here, please consider supporting Pellicle by subscribing, which in turn pays writers, artists and photographers for their hard work.

• YOU HAVE NOT MISSED SOLTICE SUNRISE AT STONEHENGE! Tune into the English Heritage Youtube channel at 7am tomorrow to watch the sun rise over the stones.

• Remembering Terry Hall as a force for all things good and cool.

ClaudeMonet — Winter Landscape with an Evening Sky